What do women really want? I hate to try to speak for all women but one of the luxuries of being in your forties is knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt what you really want.
Like my profile says, in our twenties most of us spend the bulk of our time trying to make others love us. In our thirties, we launch our journeys toward truly loving ourselves. In our forties we have it figured out and we can just love. So I would break it down for the lovers of women like this:
Women in their twenties want love and affection in every respect of the words. There is a craving in mind, body and spirit to be accepted. Criticism of our intelligence or our bodies or our dreams can be as impactful as a bullet. We need constant reassurance that we are beautiful, that our relationship is fine, that you are not going anywhere and that anything can happen if we just keep working toward our goals. We need support. We need the utmost patience as we work through a decade of our lives when we are told we are supposed to finally be adults and we long for total independence but we are still shedding our inner little girl. If you are a man who loves a women in her twenties, you must know that it won't be easy. But you should also know that it will be worth it if you stick it out.
Women in their thirties possess in inner wildness and exuberance that makes them nearly unstoppable. They have discovered their hidden talents, their keys to success, their ability to make stuff happen. To challenge their power is futile. To embrace it is smart. To encourage it is brave and will definitely benefit you in many ways. If you are a man who loves a woman in her thirties, you must know that she is about to set the world on fire. She has plans and it is in your best interest to be along for the ride and not in her way. She needs a different kind of support. She says what she means and means what she says. Don't not be afraid of her. She comes across as not needing you or as wanting to take care of herself but she wants to know that you can be there and care for her if she decides that's what she wants. Love her strongly and firmly and committedly. (Yes, that's a new word.)
Women in their forties are ready to live an uncomplicated life. That is not to say they want what is easy but anything that feels like the drama and struggle of their twenties or to massive effort of her thirties, she will stop listening to you and stop looking at you no matter how intensely beautiful you are. Forty-something women want a man of equal intelligence, not necessarily equal education. They want a man of equal passion for whatever it is she is passionate about or a man who will acquire that same passion. They want to be cared for and cared about and deeply loved. They still want to be told they are loved but they want, even more, to feel loved consistently and constantly. They want limited autonomy but that small space of solitude is important to them. If you are a man who loves a woman in her forties, you must be a man in every sense of the traditional role of protecting and providing. You must always bring 100% of yourself to the table because she will do the same.
Every woman has a different list of what she wants and what she needs. The true key to figuring that out is just to pay attention. Watch. Listen. Remember.
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