I tend to be so quick to forgive and forget that I often fall "victim" to those who purposely take advantage of others. During a conversation with a friend this week, my heart broke a little bit following the suggestion that maybe some of my relationships are one-sided because I just let things go. Maybe I should be a little more suspicious of the motives of others. And even that, because I am "white," it is easier for people to take advantage of me. I guess there is this perception that white women are a little dumb which infuriates me.
I feel sorry for people who are suspicious of everyone. I refuse to live my life that way because I do not offer to others that with which I cannot part. I do not give what I don't have to donate. And I would even suggest in return that those who take advantage of people who they perceive as weak or a little dumb are a little pathetic.
This conversation has me questioning almost everything.
In recent years, I have become more keenly aware of the separations between the people in our country; separations that reach beyond the obvious race issues portrayed in the media. There are little secrets about various ethnic groups harbored by other various ethnic groups that are passed on from generation to generation that perpetuate the divide. They are little beliefs that blacks would never say in front of whites and that whites would never say in front of blacks that are not only not actually true but are intensely divisive even though they seem harmless or maybe funny. These beliefs slip out in conversations and in my classroom so I need to address a few. Obviously these are not all encompassing. Nor do they apply to everyone who is white. I am of a mixed ethnic background raised by a German family so I can't speak for everyone. But I can speak from my experiences and from my heart.
1. White women are not weak. The notion that blondes are dumb is a stereotype that absolutely does not extend to all women of the Caucasian persuasion. We are perceptive and intuitive and very clear in our thinking.
2. All white people aren't racist. That said, white people who use derogatory terms for other ethnic groups, who tell off-color jokes about other groups of people but don't have ONE friend of another ethnicity should probably get beside themselves and re-evaluate. And that goes for everyone else too. If all of your friends look like you, except for the few people you know who are cool "even though" they are from a different ethnic group, you need to diversify.
3. White people don't all have trust funds or inheritances. Some of us grow up poor.
4. White people don't all play golf or tennis.
5. I object to the idea that white people smell like wet dogs. Don't ask. Don't comment. I just want to put that out there.
6. It is not ok with me if you like me or think I am cool "EVEN THOUGH" I am white.
7. I don't really do anything because I am white. In fact, I don't IDENTIFY as white. Liken me to Rachel Dolezal if you want but I do what I do and live how I live and act how I act because God created me to be this person.
8. It is possible to have white skin and be cultured.
I realize this is controversial. I am not supposed to talk about it much less write it in a blog. But... I am going to keep talking about it and keep writing about it as long as it comes up. As a person who strives to understand the hearts of others, to get to know who they are inside and out, it is hurtful to me that others always see me as white first. And maybe last.
No comments:
Post a Comment