Finding Freedom, Day 18: What Do You Want?

What do you want? That is a loaded question!

What I want depends on the day. In all truth, I try to focus on what I need more often than I want because my enjoyment of luxury and relative financial freedom was a casualty of my career change and substantial cut in pay. However, on any given day, there is still a list of wants in the back of my mind.

Today, I want to relax. I want my shoulders to return to their normal position, quite a few inches below my ears rather than smothering the sides of my head as tension pushes them higher and higher by the hour.

I want to be able to get a bowl of ice cream and eat it without having to make three bowls because I can't have anything without everyone else wanting it too.

I want the money to pay off my parents' debt so they don't have to worry about how they will pay for medication.

I want people to stop wearing socks with flip flops and sandals that are so short that the wearer's toes hang over the front end. (I have no idea why this crossed my mind in the dead of winter.)

I want to have the time to become a better teacher.

I want to have a social life again. I want to be taken out to a nice restaurant. I want doors held open for me. I want someone to walk with me while holding my hand. And I want to drink a really expensive bottle of Pinot Noir.

I want to travel more. I miss road trips and seeing new places every year.

I want to sing more.

I want to find a church where I can feel at home but not feel like there is something wrong with me. I want to hear a great word every week and maybe make some good friends but I don't want my whole life to be about that place.

I want to take a cooking class.

I want to find a summer job so I am not completely broke any more.

I want to make sure that everyone I love KNOWS that I love them.

I want to be able to eat cake and not gain weight. I want to have time to make that cake. I want to make cake for family and friends and coworkers and students.

I want to paint again but it is always the last thing on my list behind stuff like "clean the bathroom, make dinner for mom & dad, and walk the dog 27 times so she will stop barking in your face."

I want an assistant who will just grade papers for me all the time.

Finally, I want to find a way to make money making lists.

That is what I want. Today...